That Competitive Streak
I’m very competitive– every time I put my mind into something, I always want to be #1, no matter what it is.
An example. I started playing guitar in my first year of high school, and I’m a senior right now. I thought I was doing pretty alright (I can play jazz, classical, electric guitar), then a day or two ago, I jammed with a couple of sophomores, and their lead guitarist wiped the floor with me with his licks. I just left then and there, making up some stupid excuse so that I could get out of there.
Felt bad after that– I know, I overreacted. But really, I don’t like it when someone gets ahead of me in something. I even quit Classical guitar because my cousin got ahead of me after doing it for six months.
I was pondering on it a couple of hours ago, and I figured that I have this idea that when you’ve been doing something longer than somebody else, you should be better than him/her. A ‘seniority’ complex, I guess.
Can anyone help me? Give me some advice so that I don’t go off feeling incompetent whenever someone gets ahead? I really don’t like feeling like a loser when it comes to things like this.
Shy But Competitive
Let me just say, I’m pretty shy when it comes to meeting new people, especially when I find the person attractive. Its my absolute worst quality and no matter how hard I try I usually disappoint myself.
So last friday I met someone while at a party. I had seen her around before and we have some mutual friends, but we never talked. My first mistake was to tell her I knew her because I know her ex. She looked pretty disgusted when I said his name. Great.
Later on she came up and told me she was going to be my partner for beer pong. We played a couple game and then I ended up bringing her and her friend home since they were drinking and I don’t drink.
The next night I was looking for someone to go get food with late at night. She was first to respond. I eventually gave her my number but by the time she sent me a text I was almost asleep. Sunday we were texting each other a little and Monday I took her out to dinner. Wednesday we went out again and then back to her place for a bit.
Like I said I’m shy so I didn’t really open up too much. I started to get more comfortable wednesday, but I wasn’t being myself. I just hope she hasn’t already gotten bored. I know it hasn’t even been a week yet, but I do a good job at screwing things up from the beginning. We made plans this morning to hang out Monday night so I’m hoping things go a little better and I can just be myself. I don’t know the point of all this. I guess I need some advice. Its also been over 7 years since I’ve really gone on a date. I just got out of a long relationship about 8 months ago.