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All That I Write About

My Relationships

My Relationships

engaged-4-1545073Just the other day I was explaining to my friend that in most of my relationships I feel basically like I am confused and not positive about what I should do. Most relationships I’m sure are like that but it always bugs me because I don’t know if I’m supposed to talk about certain things or not. There are always those situations where you can talk to your social network or whatever but I think that for certain topics you actually have to talk to your girlfriend about them. But it’s those kinds of things that I never know how to bring up. It is likely that many people feel this way, too. I actually found couple sites where people were mentioning some of the issues I had.

Apparently people think that there are certain ways you’re supposed to handle relationships. But people often get those incorrect, well, not incorrect, but it might be better to say that there are nicer ways of handling them. I don’t think that I am necessarily dealing with everything I’ve read, but it’s good to know that this kind of thing exists due to the amount of people that seem to be curious about this stuff.

Part of it is learning to let your partner feel appreciated. I know that I have been in relationships where I didn’t feel appreciated and I hated it. I want to be sure that the person I’m with does as well. Because this is a scenario I’ve been in it’s important to me that I try to keep it from happening, and I know that sometimes when you are fighting the other person can feel like they aren’t admired thus leading to questioning their self worthiness. Although I think it’s important to be aware of the feelings the other person may be having and take into account how the things you do can factor into things, but this is something that you probably want to do before you get into that type of conversation anyway.

Essentially, this is the kind of thing I have been trying to get better at because I want to make sure that moving forward I am not doing anything I shouldn’t be. Many of the people I’ve spent time with don’t really seem to be interested in doing anything other than what is best for them, but that doesn’t mean it is what I need.

May 28, 2016Comments are DisabledRead More
Getting A New style

Getting A New style

SONY DSCOne of the people I work with has been talking about wanting to change his presentation. I think that is awesome . Everything he does is pretty cool. Most of his ideas are good, too. In fact, I don’t mean to sound weird, but this is a person that I tend to go to for inspiration. He is really intelligent. And he does some things that I think are really amazing.

But I’m not sure if this is what he should be doing. He was talking about getting Tokyo ghoul lenses. Now, he is a pretty clean cut guy. I don’t know if that is what he needs. It could be, though. You never know because some times people can do things that seem completely outside of what they would normally do and it totally works for them. So because of that, maybe it’s not the worst idea for him to do that. And I think that if he did it he would probably like it but if not he can always not wear them. I mean, it’s not like you have to always have them in. But really I think that this would be something that is pretty cool. I would like to do something like that, too. Maybe I will talk to him and see what he thinks I should do.

The main idea I had is that I am going to do something that would be unlike what people would assume I would do. Maybe I will get new shirts or something. But like, something other than what I usually wear. I don’t know what to say. Its like, I really like the way I dress but I think that I could use something new. Most people probably don’t feel that way because I think they are into their own things. You know, people always do the same thing. But if they were to do something different it could be really incredible. That is what I try to do but I usually just go with what I am close to. I think that way there is a feeling of knowledge that you get because you know that what you are doing work and you don’t have to step outside from that. That might not even make sense but it may. But most of what I get is from the style that I like so I don’t know how much of a new style I would need. It’s mostly just that I should probably find some things that work on me.

January 26, 2016Comments are DisabledRead More
Meeting Outside

Meeting Outside

grass and stuffI have been thinking about what I want to do for my home because people have been telling me that I should make my back yard a bit more of a collaboration area. There’s actually a good space back there but I haven’t really done anything to make it look nice or to make a little garden area where we can all relax and hang when I have friends over. It’s just some grass and really it’s not even that nice, I should probably get it looked at. But really, I would like to have a place where I can have people over and we can go back there and have a little gathering outside rather than having to be inside.

There are a few people in my neighborhood that have these nice little back yard areas and I want to do something like that. I think that I would get some chairs, maybe some benches, and cast iron garden furniture so that people would have a place to put their food. I really want to get one of those places set up where when you think about being outside for a cool little party with your friends, that is what you think of. Of course, I have no idea really how to do that so I’m going to continue to check out websites and see what i can find. I’m probably looking at doing this in the main area of my back yard, but without actually showing a picture here it would be hard to describe. There is an area with some rocks and then the rest of the back yard is grass and I want to get all the furniture and stuff set up in up near the house so that we can get to it close from the back door. The only other thing I have been thinking about putting back there is a little camp fire thing but I don’t even know if those are legal. I think that we could use it to cook some food and it would be a fun alternative to some of the other things you can do. I’m not even really sure you can get those here and you might not even know what I’m talking about. I like having people over, though, so I want to make sure that they have some stuff to do when they are here and I think that by changing up my back yard it might help accomplish that. It would also make it seem a bit more open and there would be some more places to go back there.

April 5, 2014Comments are DisabledRead More
Learning About Photography!

Learning About Photography!

photoMany of my friends are into photography.  I don’t know the first thing about it, really.  The only pictures I take are the ones I take on my cell phone, and I think it has a pretty good camera but I’m sure the photographers who are all into cameras and stuff would disagree.  I don’t know the difference between a good photo and a bad one.  There is one way I tell if I think it’s good or not, and that is do I like the photo?  If yes, then it’s probably decent.  And if not, then it’s not.  It’s the same way with any  art.  I know there are ways to tell if a picture is good or not but I don’t concern myself with all of that.  Now, all of that being said, I was actually reading a bit about photography the other day and I started to get interested in it.  I think that I might even be looking at getting a camera so I can take some pictures with something besides my cell and see if I like th e way they turn out.  There are a few lenses and stuff I will probably nee dto learn about, and I want to start with  a camera that will be easy enough to use but also take good pictures, and so I was checking out some of the ones that I saw online.  I read a Nikon D7100 review and it looks like it’s pretty incredible however I don’t know if I want to spend that much money or not.  But it definitely seems like it would be able to take some good quality shots and that’s something that I want to learn more about.  It might also be a good idea for me to talk to some of my friends and see if they have any recommendations, or if they know of anything that I should keep in mind if I’m choosing  a camera.

It’s one of those things that you probably learn as you actually start getting into it, so I don’t think they could just tell me the stuff that I would need to know now.  I might also see what kinds of cameras they have and even though they are probably pretty high quality cameras, they might give me some idea as to what I should look at, or what I should avoid.  I just want to make sure I get one that will work for me and be able to do all the stuff I need and that won’t require me to learn how to do too much stuff all at once, although I tend to learn quickly if it’s something I enjoy.

March 24, 2014Comments are DisabledRead More
Shopping Often

Shopping Often

shoppingMy friend mentioned to me that he wants to check out one of those sites that will pay you to fill out surveys online like this Alan Waters blog talks about.  I’m not sure if those actually work but I figure it’s something he could look into and see if they will actually pay you a decent amount of money.  If not it probably wouldn’t be that big of a deal but if it does that would be amazing.  My friend is going to try and do some of those so he can get a bit more money besides what he makes at his job.  He has been telling me that he wants to open an account at this other website where you can track your expenses and I think that’s a good idea.  Keeping track of what you spend to stick to a budget rather than just buying stuff without knowing what you’re spending is pretty smart.  And I especially think it’s a good idea for him because he likes to randomly buy things when he goes to the store.  I will go shopping with him and he’ll have one thing in mind and when we get there he see all this other stuff he wants and decides that he should get it.  I’ve mentioned it to him but he just says that it is stuff that he wants and he’s not worried about spending too much.  And then he’ll get his bill and be like dude, why did you let me do that!  I’m like lol, it wasn’t me.  But really, I’m curious to see how this whole thing turns out.  If he’s able to get it then I’ll probably see if I can do it, too.   When I talk about my friend I hope it doesn’t sound like I’m being mean because he’s a really cool guy, he just talks to me a lot about some of the things he buys and I think that he doesn’t even really need a lot of them but he just buys them anyway.  So that’s why if I go shopping with him I’ll try to keep him from getting some stuff but of course he doesn’t listen to me and he’s just like yeah, I want to buy this anyway.  I don’t know, it’s not really my responsibility or anything but I try to help him because I know that when he realizes what he’s bought he’ll be like a little annoyed.  Of course, he can return some of it, too.  But not on the same trip as when he’s buying other stuff.  The only other thing my friend and I kind of disagree about is whether or not you should make your bed with the pillows under the blanket or not.

January 2, 2014Comments are DisabledRead More
Surfing With Friends

Surfing With Friends

surfer beachOne of the things my friends and I have been talking about is trying to find some things to do that we haven’t done but that we think would be entertaining.  One of my friends said that he has always wanted to learn to surf and when he said that the rest of us were just like “yes, yes that sounds amazing.”  But we didn’t know where you would go to learn something like that because it’s not like there are just surf schools around where they give you lessons.

My friend said he had already looked into it and apparently there are actually surf camps where you can go and they’ll teach you everything you need to know.  It is the kind of thing that would be fun, but would be really awesome with your friends, so we are going to try and plan a trip to this Costa Rica surf camp and see if we can learn to surf.

None of us has ever surfed so we really don’t know what we are getting into, but just from watching people surf it always seemed like something that would be really entertaining so we are all wanting to give it a try.  That idea was actually so good that we didn’t even bother thinking of anything else we want to do.  It all became a talk about learning to surf and how we were going to do it.  I think that one of my friends has been doing some research online and he’s going to show us some of the places where they will teach you how to surf and we’re going to pick the best one.  I’m leaning toward one that is in a nice place so that we can get a little bit of exciting adventure in, too, but it doesn’t really matter to me as long as we all go and it’s a lot of excitement.  I think that I’m also going to have to see if I can get some information about where we will be saying.  I know that some of them have hotels or resorts or whatever that they work with but I want to make sure we have a good hotel or whatever available.  I will probably be tired after trying a new sport like that and I’m going to want a place with a super comfy place to sleep!  My other friend said that he’s going to make fun of us if we fall but I’m sure he will be falling because he’s just a beginner.

November 21, 2013Comments are DisabledRead More
Weights And Workouts

Weights And Workouts

I was talking to some people at work the other day about exercising and I am going to start.  I just need to come up with a workout plan that will work for me. I would like to get stronger, get in a bit better cardio condition, and maybe even lose a few pounds although that would just be a benefit and not my main purpose.  It turns out there is a group of people around here who all work out together and they said I was welcome to join them if I want so I think I am going to talk to them and see what happens.  One of the things I want to do is make sure that I have proper form if I am going to be lifting weights because even though I don’t know much about working out, I know that having good form is important.

I also need to find out how you are supposed to set up a workout in order to get the best gains.  I have heard some people say you should workout in the morning and other people say at night.  I don’t know who you can believe about that but I’m sure that it’s all probably good for different purposes.

I also need to find out if there is any special equipment I need.  I figure I will need some clothes to exercise in and the right kind of shoes but I don’t know if I will need anything else.  I think that the gym probably has everything that I will need.  Some of the people in the group that I mentioned work out at a gym that is pretty close by so I think I am going to go check it out.  It’s probably pretty decent since everyone goes there.

Really though, the only other thing I need to find out about is if I need to take any special shakes or anything.  I was reading about garcinia cambogia and I think it’s more for weight loss so I’m not sure if I’m going to be taking it but there are a lot of things like that so I want to see if I need any and if so, which ones.  The best nutrition is probably just eating food but who knows.

So I’m pretty excited about starting to work out.  Running is not really my idea of fun but I know it’s something I want to do to have a complete exercise program.

November 3, 2013Comments are DisabledRead More
When Your Boyfriend Spends Time With His Ex

When Your Boyfriend Spends Time With His Ex

I am so grateful that the relationships I have today are honest and open enough that we can share how we feel even though it might not always been fairy tale BS. If my SO was friends with an ex and spent some time together with them, I would not only expect them to have the reaction Olivia’s bf had, but I would be upset if he lied about it just to make me feel more secure. People don’t just suddenly stop desiring other people when they are in a relationship and avoiding those people or lying to ourselves and others about that desire are not the best way to deal with those things, in my opinion. Honest and open communication is.

If Olivia is having an emotional response to the situation, she should talk to her boyfriend about it, explain what she is feeling and try to figure out why she feels that way. Then they can talk together about how to best deal with each other’s feelings and if anything should change going forward.

That’s my 2 cents.

I agree with you that being honest about your feelings isn’t in itself wrong, but there are two things I can see being inappropriate here

1) him spending a lot of alone time with the ex. it’s unclear whether this was necessary for work or not, and whether she expressed her feelings before the trip

2) the way he expressed his feelings to her. there’s a big difference between going ‘I actually kinda wish she’d made a move on me, might have been fun’ and ‘I know it sounds bad, and I even feel a bit guilty, but part of me does wish that my ex had made a move’. again unclear

So Olivia, could you clarify on the above? did he spend time with his ex that he didn’t need to for work reasons, and had you told him beforehand that you were uncomfortable with him doing that? when he told you that he was disappointed nothing happened, how did he do it – like a jerk who doesn’t care about your feelings or like someone who’s guilty for even feeling it but felt compelled to be totally honest?

June 10, 2013Comments are DisabledRead More
Continuing My Previous Train Of Thought

Continuing My Previous Train Of Thought

It’s a process. You won’t get this “right” anymore than anything else you approach through the eyes and mind of ambition. Simply being as you are, won’t be accomplished just because you intellectually choose it. However, if you hold in your mind that your goal is to serve yourself in being happy, in influencing others in positive ways, and in following what you really care about — eventually you’ll begin to act those feelings and thoughts out.

Be yourself, seriously, because those that matter don’t mind and those that mind don’t matter. The only one whose opinion of you matters is, yours. You’ll build character and happiness by focusing on that, not the frets, strings, or chords you play.

I write music, and I’m not very good, but what I do play is sincere, and that moves people. People say “Nice job, you are good” — I’m good, because I’m me, not because my music is better than others they’ve heard.

My priority is happiness, to express myself in my writing, and to sing the songs I want to sing. I don’t care if someone plays better than me, or sings better than me. I care about the simple joy I get from experiencing the process that is writing and performing my music.

People who write better than me exist, and I love listening to them, if their music is sincere and speaks to me. I learn from them, and who I am grows. I envy them, but only in the way a child envies an adult who can reach a door knob. I know I’ll grow in my own time to open the doors, and I love that.

May 20, 2013Comments are DisabledRead More
The Past, The Future, And The Now

The Past, The Future, And The Now

I do, and I hope you understand what I am saying. You are clearly a smart individual who has made foolish mistakes, but mistakes are inevitable. Failure does not exist, only results. If you base your identity off what you are skilled at or not skilled at, you will always feel inferior. You must accept that you’re a human being, that you are one among many, and that you have a lot to offer, but so does everyone else. Whether you’re 5 years old, or 90 years old — you have something to share that will educate or illuminate something another did not know or had not experienced.

One day I was watching my nephew playing on the floor during a family gathering. He took the matchbox cars and “zooom zooomed” them, running them across the floor like bumper cars. I watched him carefully and asked him “What did you do yesterday?” — he then asked me “Why?” I said “Why not?” He laughed and continued to play.

I realized at that moment, that this child grasps the concept I’m sharing with you, better than many adults I know. The past is gone, along with our mistakes and our illusions of failure. We’re here now, and that is that.

He smiled and began crashing the cars into each other, watching as they spun and collided like pool balls. I asked him “What are you doing tomorrow?” And he said “I don’t know.”

Once again, illuminating a point which seriously consumes so many people. He’s uninterested in neither the past nor the future. He doesn’t know. Do you know? Do you have all the answers? Then you are incompetent. You are limited, finite, and bound by rules. You will never be more than the sum of what you are now at any given moment in your life.

Do you really want to live your life like you’re immortal or do you want to join us in enjoying your life, learning, and growing in relationships, and in your knowledge for the mere motivation of “because”. That’s “be-cause.”

May 8, 2013Comments are DisabledRead More